End of March Ramble

3/31/2025

HELLO HELLOO! This is my first blog post on this website haha! Making this website has been so much fun, from coding everything from scratch with near zero knowledge and just going off vibes to completing something that exceeded my expectation + allows me to better visualize my personal goals, this has truly been transformative. Ugh this sounds like LinkedIn talk, I've been on there for too long...

I rushed to my computer after bed-rotting all morning to write this, because I have a lot to say and I need to dump it on here now. Bed-rotting might seem like a bad habit to my parents, but for me it's my precious moment of contempation. I am catching up on news and thinking up of life changing ideas as I stay cozy in my bed. It's my version of dads reading newspapers at breakfast. Today's bed-rot session led me to contemplate my professional career. For almost a year, I was applying for corporate roles, and ending up empty-handed. I don't actually want to work for corporate -- sure, the benefits are really nice and pay is usually really good -- this is something that my mom wants for me instead. My lack of passion to work in my selected industry of UI/UX and product design really shows up in my portfolio and my applications. I've always thought of UI/UX design as a fake job, because I never admired how 'good' a user interface is in apps and websites. I don't blame recruiters for passing over me, actually I thank them. I think everything happens for a reason, and the reason why I can't be hired by corporate is to redirect me to live my own life, not my parents'. I gain way more satisfaction when I am my own boss, creating the things I want, like this website. Right now, I've been freed from this mindset of go-corporate-or-die, I am teeming with ideas and inspirations. Life is not linear at all, and I've never been the type of person to stick with one thing, I've always explored and tried whatever I wanted.

However, I still need to make money. Most of my projects are out of passion, not monetization. Fortunately, I am living rent free at home, and my past-self gifted me with the invaluable skill of tattooing, which I both enjoy and can make a living on. Once again, everything happens for a reason, old me trying out tattooing out of curiosity prepared me for the life I am meant to live. Tattooing was also life-changing, I met my closeset friend through this trade and it validated me as an artist. Even though my apprenticeship was rocky and my mentor was lowkey evil, it provided me with insights to better protect myself as I run my own businesses.

I am also doing design work for minimum wage at a startup. I think it is through here that I realized that I could not survive in a corporate setting where my creativity becomes extremely limited. Since the hours are flexible, I am only working two hours a day for them because I simply cannot stand doing this anymore. Currently, I have multiple projects going on, and I do not have the time to do the things I don't want to do.

For one, I am preparing to get into pHD programs. I'm not sure if I want to stick with academia in the future, but I want to connect with people knowledgable in psycholinguistics and conduct my own research for a while. I was hesitating before because I heard from many that getting a pHD actually limits your career options. But now I've decided that I don't need to work in corporate and realized I can always somehow feed myself with my skills, I've freed myself to just try things out. Right now, I lack a lot of research experiences required to get into grad school, since the research opportunities at UC Berkeley are scarce and competitive and I was only able to snatch one due to connections with the researcher. Therefore, I am letting my passions show through conducting self-directed research of my own and writing about the research materials I read. I'll be posting them here so keep an eye out!

I attended the Game Developer Conference earlier this month because I've been looking into the industry. I was really inspired by the indie games people were making, and thought why not make my own stuff and showcase it at next year's GDC? Plus, I have a mentor who is really excited to see what I come up with. I'm still brainstorming the game design of my indie game and learning Godot, but I hope I'll have something playable to show in the next few months.

So much to do! All this on top of doing my taxes and driver's license renewal, which I've been putting off. And I need to make some business cards, which I increasingly realized I need. I'm treating myself during down-times to reading fun books and crocheting a sweater. As someone with ADHD who hypefixates whenever I have a passion project going on, I've come to realize that taking a break to do something else I enjoy is the key to preventing burnout. I often have to tell myself that it's better to let something 'marinate' for a bit, instead of working obsessively. Marinated projects usually turns out better too because my brain and energy is fresh when I work on it again. Well, thanks for reading my ramble, I hope you keep checking Mish Corner for my updates! See you next time!